8 Weeks Post Partum

It seems likes it’s been forever since I’ve blogged. I guess 9 weeks is a pretty long time to step away from anything, but I’ve had good reasons. In my absence a lot has transpired, most importantly, the birth of my beautiful daughter. That has been the high that has carried me through.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative because I have so much to be thankful for right now, but the fact of the matter is, not everything has been rainbows and sunshine. About two weeks ago, I was fired from my job, a job that I loved, working with people that I loved, while I was still on maternity leave.

Was it right? No. Was it fair? No.

I haven’t openly talked about the situation with anyone except my family. They are who I trust in times of trial, who I lean on for support, and while they’ve been great and supportive, I’m still having a hard time moving past the situation. It just sucks.

It sucks because I wasn’t really given a good reason why I was being fired. It sucks because I was told that because I’m a new mom, they didn’t think I could handle the stress and responsibility of the job anymore. It sucks because I had to walk out of the office, dry my tears and put on a brave face for my husband because he’s been carrying the financial burden of our family for 8 weeks now.

There’s no worse feeling in the world than feeling powerless. I couldn’t stop what happened. I can’t change it. All I can do is keep holding my head high, moving forward, and praying that everything will be alright.

I’d like to sit here and say with confidence that I know everything will be alright. Part of me knows it, but the other part of me is scared and doubtful, angry and hurt.

My daughter is swinging in her swing right now, drifting in and out of sleep. She smiles every now and then and it makes me smile. She’s the light in this dark situation. She’s the silver lining.

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38 Weeks Update

38Weeks

How far along? 38 weeks and 6 days
Baby is the size of: Pumpkin
Total weight gain: 34 pounds
Stretch marks: Just a few in the boob area and some on the very top of my thighs.
Maternity clothes: Yes and no. I’ve bought some dresses that aren’t maternity but serve the purpose (like the one pictured above). I wanted some things that I could wear after my pregnancy.
Sleep: Sleep has been eh. There have been a few nights where I’ve slept good, and then others where I wake and can’t go back to sleep for a few hours.
Best moment (s) this week: I can’t really think of anything. I know that sounds awful but the past two weeks have been really hard. I’ve been stressed and extremely anxious. It doesn’t help that I have family checking in on me everyday, and people constantly making the comment, “You haven’t had that baby yet?” I know they mean well, it’s just hard because I’m so anxious to meet my little girl. At my doctors appointment Wednesday my doctor said, “How are you still pregnant.” Then when she checked me she said I was 4 1/2 cm and 80% effaced. I’ve never had a baby obviously, so I really don’t know what is typical, but from what people tell me, and what my doctor has told me, this baby should be here already. That’s been hard to hear because my body is obviously preparing for childbirth, but the baby just isn’t coming. I know she’ll come when she’s ready, but deggum.
Movement: Yes. She’s my little wiggle worm. I can’t wait to hold her little squirmy butt in my arms.
Food cravings: I have been wanting salads lately, specifically the Savannah Chopped Salad from McAlister’s. I finally got one Tuesday. I’ve also been drinking a lot of sweet tea the past few weeks. I’ve been making a gallon once or twice a week. It’s so good!
Food aversions: Not really. I’ve been eating like a hog lately.
Symptoms: Insomnia, indigestion, some cramping down in my ovary area, pressure down in my pelvis, sharp pains that shoot down below, braxton hicks contractions, tightness in my belly, swelling daily, frequent urination, boob leakage and elevated body temperature. I’ve also been a little emotional lately.
Gender: Sweet girl
What I miss: I miss being able to get up and down from sitting or lying down without feeling terrible.
What I am looking forward to: Having time off with my husband so we can bond with our little girl. As I mentioned above, the past two weeks have been really stressful and hard. I know maternity leave will be anything but a vacation, but despite the sleepless nights and whatever else is in store, at least I will be at home surrounded by people I love.
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37 Weeks Update

37weeks
How far along? 37 weeks and 4 days
Baby is the size of: Winter Melon
Total weight gain: 33 pounds
Stretch marks: Just a few in the boob area.
Maternity clothes: Yes.
Sleep: Sleep has been hit and miss again. Some nights are ok, other nights are terrible.
Best moment (s) this week: Sunday Nick and I decided to go on a date. We’ve been really trying to save money, so going out has been cut out. But, I had a free movie ticket that was given to me, so we decided to go see Planet of the Apes and then grab dinner afterwards. I viewed it as an opportunity to get in one last date night before the baby arrives and we ended up having a really nice time. It was a relaxing and fun day and something I will cherish as we move forward from a family of two to three. I also had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. I’m now at 4 cm and my doctor said that I would probably have this baby before my next appointment, which is next Wednesday. I’m really hoping that’s true. The anticipation is killing me!
Movement: This baby started moving at almost 16 weeks exactly and has not stopped since. Room or no room, she makes her presence known.
Food cravings: No.
Food aversions: This week I’ve felt like avoiding all foods. Pizza seemed like a good idea the other night, but it triggered 3 days worth of indigestion. Needless to say, it’s been hard trying to decide what to eat lately for fear of dealing with indigestion.
Symptoms: Insomnia, indigestion, some cramping down in my ovary area, pressure down in my pelvis, sharp pains that shoot down below, braxton hicks contractions, tightness in my belly, swelling daily, frequent urination, boob leakage and elevated body temperature.
Gender: Sweet girl
What I miss: I miss being able to put on my underwear, or pants, or shoes without losing my balance or feeling like my stomach may pop. I also miss not dreading drying off after a shower. It’s become my least favorite thing to do because it’s so hard to reach everywhere with my big belly.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing my little girl’s face in person. I look at her 4D picture a lot and I just can’t stand it! I want to see her sweet face in person and kiss her and hold her. Last week I thought I was close, but this week I’m even closer and knowing that is making me extremely anxious.
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36 Weeks Update

36weeks
How far along? 36 weeks and 4 days
Baby is the size of: Honeydew
Total weight gain: 31 pounds
Stretch marks: Just a few in the boob area.
Maternity clothes: Yes.
Sleep: This week sleep has been crap. I had one good night of sleep, the rest I’ve gotten maybe 4 hours each night. It sucks.
Best moment (s) this week: Tuesday I took the day off because I had my 36 week ultrasound appointment. My mom drove up and came to the doctor with us. The ultrasound itself was a little disappointing. We couldn’t see much of anything, that is, until the tech decided to surprise us with a look at our baby girl in 4D. We were not expecting that at all and it was so exciting! It made me so happy to see her sweet little face. She has her daddy’s lips and the fattest little cheeks. They predicted she weighs 7lbs 3oz already. Lord help me if that’s true. After the ultrasound I had another exam and am now at 3cm and 70-80% effaced. My doctor definitely says I won’t make it to my August 5 due date. She said I probably wouldn’t make it another two weeks. Fingers crossed little one comes soon! I’m ready to see that sweet face in person. After my exam we went over our birth plan with my doctor and then toured labor and delivery. It was nice to get all of that taken care of. After my appointment my mom and I went shopping for the last few things for my hospital bag and a few sleepers and other items for baby girl.
Movement: Always.
Food cravings: I’m still loving fruit but not really craving much of anything.
Food aversions:  Mexican food and bacon. I’m also trying to avoid anything too heavy.
Symptoms: Insomnia, indigestion, low back pain, cramping down in my ovary area (daily), pressure down in my pelvis, sharp pains that shoot down below, contractions, tightness in my belly, swelling, frequent urination, boob leakage and elevated body temperature.
Gender: Sweet girl
What I miss: I miss sleep.
What I am looking forward to: The arrival of my little girl. I’m so anxious knowing that I’m so close! It could be any day now.
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35 Weeks Update

34weeks 35weeks
How far along? 35 weeks and 5 days
Baby is the size of: Coconut
Total weight gain: 30 pounds
Stretch marks: Just a few in the boob area.
Maternity clothes: Yes, but maybe not for much longer. More on that later.
Sleep: Sleep has been hit or miss. I have either had indigestion, baby girl won’t stop moving, or I just can’t go back to sleep. This past week has been especially difficult. Not only do my hips hurt when I lay on one side for too long, but my sides get sore too. My belly is really tight and uncomfortable and since baby girl is running out of room, when she moves to one side or the other, that side of my belly gets really hard and tight and laying on that side is near impossible.
Best moment (s) this week: There have been a few moments actually. Last Saturday I finished her quilt and last Sunday we finally finished the nursery! My goal was to have it done by the end of June, and I’m so happy we did just that. On Tuesday my husband called me at work and told me he had something to tell me. The next words out of his mouth were that he got a raise, a hefty raise at that. I almost cried because we so desperately needed that blessing. I’ve been stressing about money a lot during this pregnancy, especially in regards to childcare and insurance for her. This news couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Which brings me to Wednesday. I had my 35 week check up and first exam. I was thinking there would be no news to report, but turns out, I’m already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. It was a bit shocking, but I’ve noticed changes in my body these past few weeks and I knew something had to be going on. I feel like I’ve been very in tune with my body during this pregnancy. I’ve said all along that I didn’t think she would wait until August 5 to make her appearance, and sure enough I was right. Now I know it doesn’t mean anything until I’m actually in active labor, but I’m getting close!
Movement: Oh yes. She moves all the time, but this week in particular I’ve noticed her squirming more. I can tell she’s uncomfortable and with good reason because I am very uncomfortable. We are both running out of room.
Food cravings: I’m still loving fruit but not really craving much of anything.
Food aversions:  Mexican food and bacon.
Symptoms: Fatigue, Indigestion, low back pain, cramping down in my ovary area (daily), pressure down in my pelvis, sharp pains that shoot down below, contractions, tightness in my belly, generally feeling like my child is going to fall out, leg cramps, a little swelling, frequent urination, boob leakage and elevated body temperature.
Gender: Sweet girl
What I miss: Not feeling like at any minute my water might break and I’ll go into labor. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely excited that she’s ready to meet us (she’s impatient like me), but I was in no way prepared to be on edge this early in the game. Every day I wake up I think “is today the day?”
What I am looking forward to: My 36 week ultrasound Tuesday. We’ll get to see our little girl again one last time before she arrives. I’m anxious to see how much she weighs and to see if she has hair! My mom is coming up to be here for it too. I’ve taken the day off from work so we can have a girls’ day. I think it will be a lot of fun. We are going to go shopping for some last minute items before she arrives.
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Nursery Inspiration

Whenever Nick and I found out we were having a little girl, I immediately started thinking about her nursery. Nick and I were both in agreement that we did not want our little girl’s room to be an explosion of pink. I personally wanted something that she could grow up with, decor that, as she got older, would not need to be changed much. When I thought about her and her room, bright colors came to mind.

Below are just some of the images I gathered for inspiration.

nursery

hon nursery2

nurs

I love how bright and happy these spaces look. Stay tuned for how we used this inspiration to decorate our little girl’s nursery!

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33 Weeks Update

32weeks

33weeks

Don’t ask what happened to week 31’s picture. I’ve tried to be diligent about taking weekly pictures, but week 31 just slipped through the cracks. I feel like that’s the week I decided I had no clothes to wear, and after an unsuccessful shopping day determined that department stores have some kind of prejudice against pregnant women. I remedied this by ordering 4 dresses from Target. I returned two of them because they didn’t fit, as is the pitfall of online shopping, but two worked out fabulously (one pictured above), so I’m feeling a little better about my wardrobe these days.

How far along? 33 weeks and 5 days
Baby is the size of: Durian Fruit (whatever that is)
Total weight gain: 28 pounds
Stretch marks: Just a few in the boob area.
Maternity clothes: Yes. As I get bigger some things in my wardrobe are getting tighter or I just don’t want to wear them because they aren’t comfortable. Dresses are heavenly though. I plan to get a few more before this baby pops out. If I get the right cut, I can wear them after pregnancy too.
Sleep: Sleep is fine, although I’m feeling more fatigued lately than usual so I’ve been getting in bed earlier than usual. I still wake up frequently to go to the bathroom, but I fall back asleep pretty easily most nights.
Best moment (s) this week: Realizing Friday night before falling asleep that I didn’t have to work the next day. Sometimes it’s the small things. We also had a very productive Saturday. We washed a ton of baby clothes, rags, towels, sheets, etc., and got them all stored away. Her closet and dresser are full!
Movement: Yes. Some days she squirms all day long. She does night like when I am sitting, and when I work too hard, I feel like she gives me a little kick or a punch to tell me to slow down. It’s funny watching her move now because my whole stomach shifts from one side to the other. I film her moving quite frequently. I love watching her and imagining what she’s doing in there.
Food cravings: Actually yes. I’ve been wanting fruit lately. I haven’t really eaten a lot of fruit being pregnant because it gives me such bad indigestion, but my body obviously missed it so I’ve been eating more of it lately.
Food aversions:  Still saying Mexican and bacon. I will eat bacon, because I love it so much, but this last trimester every time I do I just feel like it sits in my throat all day long. For this reason I have been avoiding it.
Symptoms: Fatigue again, Indigestion, low back pain, middle and upper back pain, leg cramps, a little swelling, frequent urination, boob leakage and elevated body temperature. I feel like I stay hot all the time.
Gender: Sweet girl
What I miss: Not feeling out of breath and hot all the time.
What I am looking forward to: My baby shower next weekend. A few girls from church organized a baby shower for me and I’m pretty excited about it. I didn’t think I was going to have more than one shower, so it was a nice surprise. I’m also excited that I’m almost done with baby girl’s quilt! I worked on it for a long time yesterday. If I put my mind to it, I might just finish it today!
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